I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
