She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
