he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
