allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
