I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
