Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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