She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
