My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just gargled with NyQuil
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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