You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I enjoy the company of your penis
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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