her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
