sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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