If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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