You can't motorboat a personality
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
should my penis look like a turkey
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
