Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
