I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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