I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
