Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
