help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
My cat gives me a boner
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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