using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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