You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
