i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
did i walk over a car last night?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
