Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
