i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
