I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
