with your own penis?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
