"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
