That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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