I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
