What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
