yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he was CRYING into my vagina
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
