I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
