I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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