He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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