omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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