i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
