My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
