i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
