Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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