I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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