You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
