I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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