Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
