In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
