I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
