I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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