Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
