WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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