Jerry, you need to find god
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
