Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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