Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize