Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
How's work?
Spinning.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
