Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
