the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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