p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
