Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
