I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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