imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
