:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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