Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
