In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
